While last month’s read (“Networking Magic”) detailed how to approach networking, this month’s book by Peggy Klaus focuses on how to talk about you (and your business). I have followed her advice with great results (including increased confidence).

Bragging is different from boasting. Bragging is highlighting your business (in interesting ways) to build a relationship. Boasting is exaggerating your achievements to elevate your status.

Bragging’s goal is to get you noticed and to open the door for a professional relationship. Every time you talk to a stranger is an opportunity for you to build a connection.

Peggy has a great “Take 12″ self-evaluation questionnaire (both in her book and her website). Answering the questions will give you great raw material to build your bragologue (a bragging dialogue).

1. What would you and others say are five of your personality pluses?
2. What are the ten most interesting things you have done or that have happened to you?
3. What do you do for a living and how did you end up doing it?
4. What do you like/love about your current job/career?
5. How does your job/career use your skills and talents, and what projects are you working on right now that best showcase them?
6. What career successes are you most proud of having accomplished (from current position and past jobs)?
7. What new skills have you learned in the last year?
8. What obstacles have you overcome to get where you are today, both professionally and personally, and what essential lessons have you learned from some of your mistakes?
9. What training/education have you completed and what did you gain from those experiences?
10. What professional organizations are you associated with and in what ways: member, board, treasurer, or the like?
11. How do you spend your time outside of work, including hobbies, interests, sports, family, and volunteer activities?
12. In what ways are you making a difference in people’s lives?

The book gives lots of “before” and “after” examples which can help you customize your raw material into an authentic (and interesting) brag.

She ends the book with “Twelve Tooting Tips For Bragging” that are gems:

1. Be your best, authentic self.
2. Think about to whom you are tooting.
3. Say it with meaningful and entertaining stories.
4. Keep it short and simple.
5. Talk with me, not at me.
6. Be able to back up what you say.
7. Know when to toot.
8. Turn small talk into big talk.
9. Keep bragologues and brag bites current and fresh.
10. Be ready at a moment’s notice.
11. Have a sense of humor.
12. Use it all: your eyes, ears, head, and heart.

(Prerequisite: Marketing 201: Networking Goals)

You now know your goal for attending an event. If you’re naturally outgoing, then you’re well on your way. But what if you’re shy? Nervous? Insecure? Not a “people-person”?

I never considered myself good at social events until I realized that socializing is a skill that can be authentically learned. You don’t have to fake a personality to succeed, and in fact the only way you can get good at socializing is to develop your strengths. There are some people who are naturally magnetic. If you don’t know your social strengths, ask your friends for their honest evaluation.

Here are some of my networking skill tips:

1. Count Quality, Not Quantity. Some people I know go to events to collect other people’s business cards. They judge their success by how thick their card stack is. How often have you had someone come up to you, hand you their card and say, “Use my services!”, then they repeat this with everyone they see? Rather than playing the “numbers game”, spend time getting to know people in-depth.

2. Be More Interested In Them. People love talking about themselves. Ask people what they do. Why do they do this job? What’s in it for them? Where’s their passion for their job? I personally love hearing about people’s passion – whatever it is.

3. Avoid The Common Questions. “What do you do?” is the common first question people www. People need to get their elevator speech off their chest. Let them. Pay attention. Then ask a question that you ARE interested in. Why? How long? What did you do before?

4. Talk in Specifics. Don’t talk about the weather.

5. Reveal Something About Yourself. You build trust by sharing something about yourself.

6. Find Commonality. If nothing else, you’re both at the same event. Why? Anything you both witnessed?

7. Thank You. A single interaction doesn’t build relationship. Send a “nice meeting you” email. Even better, a hand-written note.

8. Reconnect. When you see someone you met before (even if you don’t remember their name), say, “Hi”. People like to be recognized.

9. Remember Why Are People At The Event. People go to networking events to network. That means that you can potentially go up to anyone at an event and say, “Hi”. Introduce yourself.

10. Look For Other People Not Talking To Anyone. Inserting yourself in someone else’s conversation can be awkward. People are often relieved to have someone talk to them.

11. It’s Networking, Not Dating. Don’t take it personally.

12. It’s Networking, Not Dating. Keep your goals professional. If you’re at an event to get a date, it’ll confuse the person you’re talking with. Are you interested in them or their business?

13. Dress Nicer Than You Normally Do. You’ll feel better about yourself. When you feel better, it’s easier to be friendly.

14. Play The Host. Even if it’s the first time at this sort of event, welcome people. Look them in the eye. Ask them how you can they help. Pass along some tip (the bathrooms are around the corner). Introduce people to each other.

15. Help The Host. Introduce yourself to the host. Tell them why you’re at the event, tell them that who you’d like to meet and why. By being open to introductions, you make the host’s job easier.

15. Pay Attention To Your Energy. You don’t have to be networking all the time. Allow yourself some quiet time. Look around the room. Grab something (small) to eat.

16. Be Careful About Alcohol. You only get one chance to make a first impression. Alcohol may cloud your professional judgment or cause your tongue to slip.

17. Make Eye Contact. Make sure to give the person you’re talking with your complete attention. Besides being polite, it’ll relax the both of you – since they know you’re “there”.

18. Smile. Happy looking people are more approachable.

19. Don’t Take It Personally. Social events can be stressful. Some events are better for you than others.

20. Practice. Think of networking like dating. When you first started dating, you might have been quite awkward. Instead of trying to make the event be a huge success for you, simply try to improve your technique.

The key thing is to be authentic. People can spot fakes easily. Find (or develop) some social skills and get really good at them. You might even find yourself looking forward to attending more networking events.

How do you keep track of your network? One free software solution is Highrise.