I recently attended a conference where Alfie Kohn (“Punished By Rewards”, “Unconditional Parenting”, etc.) spoke about parenting a child. As he described healthy ways of parenting, I was struck by the commonalities of a parent/child and a business/client relationship.

One of his speeches was summarized by “Talk Little, Ask Lots” – stop talking and be curious about the other person’s needs and feelings. As I mentioned in last month’s newsletter (“So, What Do You Do For a Living?”), as a business person you want to engage in a dialog to understand the potential client’s needs and build trust. After you’ve introduced yourself, shift the conversation back to the client. What’s their problem? When does it need to be solved? What have they tried? What’s their budget?

Only after you’ve asked these questions can you begin to figure out if you can help them. Are they are trying to solve a symptom or a problem? Is this problem a match for your business (sometimes the best service you can provide is a referral to an expert)?

Remember, the goal of the conversation/meeting is to develop a long-term relationship. If you can communicate with passion, honesty, and wisdom you’re well on your way to bridging the divide between prospect and client.