When I started networking, I did it the way most people do: I showed up and hoped to meet people and convince them that they should use my services. It became quickly evident that this doesn’t work (at least not for me).

Networking Magic (by Rick Frishman and Jill Lublin) helped me reframe what networking is, and how to succeed at it. They define networking as the “building and maintaining of relationships”. Therefore to be good at networking, you need to generously give to receive. People who have benefited from your assistance are more likely to reciprocate when you www.

The book describes how to build your own network: both to get information from others as well as to sell your product or services. It describes how to ask for referrals, present yourself, and “work your network”. It’s based around the simple premise that the more you give the more you get (without expectation of getting).

When I now go to networking events and meet someone, I get to know them and find out what business problems they have. My primary goal is to help connect them with someone who might be a great resource for solving their problem. Ideally, the connection would be a person in the same room, so I can make a personal introduction. I’ll often take notes on the back of their business card (or use a spare one of mine if they don’t have a card handy) and follow up with them within a day (with names and contact information). Again, my sincere goal is to help them with their problem.

My secondary goal is to get people to think of me as someone who can help them (building trust). I’ll often follow up with people to ensure that a referral I provided was useful to both sides. If not, I’ll offer other resources. Trust is something that is earned over time. This sort of networking is a long-term process, unlike the vision I initially had of a short-term, “Hi, nice to meet you, here’s my card, want to buy from me?” sales speech.

I personally enjoy connecting people who need something with a person who can provide it (a business “matchmaker”). I love hearing a “thank you” for an introduction that did work.