(Prerequisite: Marketing 201: Networking Goals)

You now know your goal for attending an event. If you’re naturally outgoing, then you’re well on your way. But what if you’re shy? Nervous? Insecure? Not a “people-person”?

I never considered myself good at social events until I realized that socializing is a skill that can be authentically learned. You don’t have to fake a personality to succeed, and in fact the only way you can get good at socializing is to develop your strengths. There are some people who are naturally magnetic. If you don’t know your social strengths, ask your friends for their honest evaluation.

Here are some of my networking skill tips:

1. Count Quality, Not Quantity. Some people I know go to events to collect other people’s business cards. They judge their success by how thick their card stack is. How often have you had someone come up to you, hand you their card and say, “Use my services!”, then they repeat this with everyone they see? Rather than playing the “numbers game”, spend time getting to know people in-depth.

2. Be More Interested In Them. People love talking about themselves. Ask people what they do. Why do they do this job? What’s in it for them? Where’s their passion for their job? I personally love hearing about people’s passion – whatever it is.

3. Avoid The Common Questions. “What do you do?” is the common first question people www. People need to get their elevator speech off their chest. Let them. Pay attention. Then ask a question that you ARE interested in. Why? How long? What did you do before?

4. Talk in Specifics. Don’t talk about the weather.

5. Reveal Something About Yourself. You build trust by sharing something about yourself.

6. Find Commonality. If nothing else, you’re both at the same event. Why? Anything you both witnessed?

7. Thank You. A single interaction doesn’t build relationship. Send a “nice meeting you” email. Even better, a hand-written note.

8. Reconnect. When you see someone you met before (even if you don’t remember their name), say, “Hi”. People like to be recognized.

9. Remember Why Are People At The Event. People go to networking events to network. That means that you can potentially go up to anyone at an event and say, “Hi”. Introduce yourself.

10. Look For Other People Not Talking To Anyone. Inserting yourself in someone else’s conversation can be awkward. People are often relieved to have someone talk to them.

11. It’s Networking, Not Dating. Don’t take it personally.

12. It’s Networking, Not Dating. Keep your goals professional. If you’re at an event to get a date, it’ll confuse the person you’re talking with. Are you interested in them or their business?

13. Dress Nicer Than You Normally Do. You’ll feel better about yourself. When you feel better, it’s easier to be friendly.

14. Play The Host. Even if it’s the first time at this sort of event, welcome people. Look them in the eye. Ask them how you can they help. Pass along some tip (the bathrooms are around the corner). Introduce people to each other.

15. Help The Host. Introduce yourself to the host. Tell them why you’re at the event, tell them that who you’d like to meet and why. By being open to introductions, you make the host’s job easier.

15. Pay Attention To Your Energy. You don’t have to be networking all the time. Allow yourself some quiet time. Look around the room. Grab something (small) to eat.

16. Be Careful About Alcohol. You only get one chance to make a first impression. Alcohol may cloud your professional judgment or cause your tongue to slip.

17. Make Eye Contact. Make sure to give the person you’re talking with your complete attention. Besides being polite, it’ll relax the both of you – since they know you’re “there”.

18. Smile. Happy looking people are more approachable.

19. Don’t Take It Personally. Social events can be stressful. Some events are better for you than others.

20. Practice. Think of networking like dating. When you first started dating, you might have been quite awkward. Instead of trying to make the event be a huge success for you, simply try to improve your technique.

The key thing is to be authentic. People can spot fakes easily. Find (or develop) some social skills and get really good at them. You might even find yourself looking forward to attending more networking events.

How do you keep track of your network? One free software solution is Highrise.

(Prerequisite: Marketing 101)

Have you dreaded going to a business event? While at the event, found yourself wishing that the event would end soon so you could go home? Once at home, you then wished you were more outgoing and could connect with people at the events?

First, determine your motivation(s) for going to the event:

1. To be “seen”
2. To meet new people
3. To get information from others
4. To share ideas with others
5. To get known
6. To sell others your product / services

Different goals require different approaches:

1. To be “seen” – This is the easiest goal to achieve. Basically walk around, smile at people, and talk to people that you know or who approach you first. You’re passively attending the event.
2. To meet new people – Here’s a secret: everyone who goes to networking events wants people to talk to them. Go up to people who are by themselves. Ask them about their business and non-business interests. Share something of interest about yourself. You’re trying to find people who you “connect” with. Smile. When you’ve met someone of interest, get their contact information and follow up.
3. To get information from others – Think of the event as a big informational interview. Introduce yourself to the host, and tell them that you’re looking to talk to people who might have answers to your questions. The host’s introduction will smooth the opening, and the “experts” will be flattered to be sought out. Make sure to thank the experts after the event with an email or (even better) a hand-written note.
4. To share ideas with others – This is basically the other side of the previous goal. When you first arrive, introduce yourself to the host. Tell them of your expertise and give them permission to introduce others to you. You’ll be helping the host provide a useful service (other than simply greeting) and also establish yourself.
5. To get known – There’s an advertising axiom that says you need to see the same ad 7+ times before it’s in your consciousness. It’s also true at business events. While you only have one chance to make a first impression, consistent following-up with people will result in being recognized. To get known, you need to repeatedly show up to events. You don’t have to talk to the same people each time (simply being “seen” is often enough), but do make it a point to remember something about your last conversation with them. People like to be remembered. Follow up with people you’ve met (for the first time) with an email or note.
6. To sell others your product / services – Many people go to events to find a new customer. Think back to all the events you’ve gone to. How many times have you talked with someone and thought “I need to buy that NOW”? Instead of hard-selling yourself, tell stories about people who’ve used your products or services. Highlight the benefits. Tell how you solve their problem. Offer to send them marketing materials. You might introduce yourself to the host, and ask them for an introduction to someone who might benefit from your product / service. A “warm” introduction is much better than a “cold” one.

Next month, I’ll share some networking tips. Until then, I’d suggest reviewing one of my previous articles for tips for talking about your product or services (“So, What Do You Do For a Living?“).