While last month’s read (“Networking Magic”) detailed how to approach networking, this month’s book by Peggy Klaus focuses on how to talk about you (and your business). I have followed her advice with great results (including increased confidence).

Bragging is different from boasting. Bragging is highlighting your business (in interesting ways) to build a relationship. Boasting is exaggerating your achievements to elevate your status.

Bragging’s goal is to get you noticed and to open the door for a professional relationship. Every time you talk to a stranger is an opportunity for you to build a connection.

Peggy has a great “Take 12” self-evaluation questionnaire (both in her book and her website). Answering the questions will give you great raw material to build your bragologue (a bragging dialogue).

1. What would you and others say are five of your personality pluses?
2. What are the ten most interesting things you have done or that have happened to you?
3. What do you do for a living and how did you end up doing it?
4. What do you like/love about your current job/career?
5. How does your job/career use your skills and talents, and what projects are you working on right now that best showcase them?
6. What career successes are you most proud of having accomplished (from current position and past jobs)?
7. What new skills have you learned in the last year?
8. What obstacles have you overcome to get where you are today, both professionally and personally, and what essential lessons have you learned from some of your mistakes?
9. What training/education have you completed and what did you gain from those experiences?
10. What professional organizations are you associated with and in what ways: member, board, treasurer, or the like?
11. How do you spend your time outside of work, including hobbies, interests, sports, family, and volunteer activities?
12. In what ways are you making a difference in people’s lives?

The book gives lots of “before” and “after” examples which can help you customize your raw material into an authentic (and interesting) brag.

She ends the book with “Twelve Tooting Tips For Bragging” that are gems:

1. Be your best, authentic self.
2. Think about to whom you are tooting.
3. Say it with meaningful and entertaining stories.
4. Keep it short and simple.
5. Talk with me, not at me.
6. Be able to back up what you say.
7. Know when to toot.
8. Turn small talk into big talk.
9. Keep bragologues and brag bites current and fresh.
10. Be ready at a moment’s notice.
11. Have a sense of humor.
12. Use it all: your eyes, ears, head, and heart.

When I started networking, I did it the way most people do: I showed up and hoped to meet people and convince them that they should use my services. It became quickly evident that this doesn’t work (at least not for me).

Networking Magic (by Rick Frishman and Jill Lublin) helped me reframe what networking is, and how to succeed at it. They define networking as the “building and maintaining of relationships”. Therefore to be good at networking, you need to generously give to receive. People who have benefited from your assistance are more likely to reciprocate when you www.

The book describes how to build your own network: both to get information from others as well as to sell your product or services. It describes how to ask for referrals, present yourself, and “work your network”. It’s based around the simple premise that the more you give the more you get (without expectation of getting).

When I now go to networking events and meet someone, I get to know them and find out what business problems they have. My primary goal is to help connect them with someone who might be a great resource for solving their problem. Ideally, the connection would be a person in the same room, so I can make a personal introduction. I’ll often take notes on the back of their business card (or use a spare one of mine if they don’t have a card handy) and follow up with them within a day (with names and contact information). Again, my sincere goal is to help them with their problem.

My secondary goal is to get people to think of me as someone who can help them (building trust). I’ll often follow up with people to ensure that a referral I provided was useful to both sides. If not, I’ll offer other resources. Trust is something that is earned over time. This sort of networking is a long-term process, unlike the vision I initially had of a short-term, “Hi, nice to meet you, here’s my card, want to buy from me?” sales speech.

I personally enjoy connecting people who need something with a person who can provide it (a business “matchmaker”). I love hearing a “thank you” for an introduction that did work.